


Cops and Robbers

by disastersaurus



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: AU Pilot, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastersaurus/pseuds/disastersaurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a damn good arrest, Amy thinks, and the captain's going to be so proud of her. The only thing that could be better is if the guy would just shut up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cops and Robbers

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Amy's test of patience](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395493) by [elenlith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenlith/pseuds/elenlith). 



  

“Ow, ow, ow, seriously, easy on the handcuffs. This could be construed as police brutality, you know.”

 

“You have the right to remain silent,” Amy says, _and I really hope you use it._

 

* * *

 

“How did you find me, anyway?” The guy in her backseat cannot stop fidgeting and she feels like a parent driving a six-year-old around.

 

“Nanny cam.” She tries to be calm, stern, but she can’t keep the note of pride out of her voice. This is her first arrest under the new captain, and she’s glad it’s a good solve.

 

“Nice.” He’s weirdly cheerful for being arrested, his grin is brilliant.

 

* * *

 

“Jacob Daniel Peralta. Thirty-three, no previous arrests, but you do have three unpaid parking tickets.” She looks at him. “You’re a...cameraman?”

 

He shrugs as best he can with his hands handcuffed to her desk. He’s made no less than three jokes about the handcuffs already, all of them filthy.

 

“I prefer photojournalist, but one of these days I’m going to shoot the next Die Hard,” he says, half-seriously. “You know, if I knew there were girls as pretty as you on the force, I wouldn’t have dropped out of the Academy.”

 

“You were in the Academy? The NYPD Academy?”

 

“The one and only,” he grins at her confusion. “I could’ve been your partner, instead of that terrifying lady with all the hair.”

 

“Why’d you drop out?” she asks, curious despite herself.

 

“Aw, Detective Santiago,” he drawls. “Buy me a drink first.”

 

“Okay, we’re done here.”

 

* * *

 

“He wants to make a deal,” says the public defender, and Amy finds herself in the interrogation room with Jake Peralta again. His whole face lights up when she walks in and she forces herself not to smile back.

 

“So we meet again, Detective.”

 

“Alright,” she opens a notebook. “What’s your story?”

 

“The electronics store is a fence, and my neighbour’s apartment got robbed. They stole her daughter’s camera. It was one of my old cameras. It was worth a bit of money, but what really matters is that Ellie has a talent for photography and there’s no way her mom could’ve afforded something like that for her. Anyway, Louie’s a scumbag and his locks are shit. So, I just...liberated some things.”

 

He looks up at her, eyes big and sad, and she knows he’s doing it on purpose but she feels herself softening anyway. “You’re not going to take Ellie’s camera away again, are you?”

 

She sighs. “If you have the receipt proving you bought it, she can keep it.”

 

“Thank you, Amy,” he beams.

 

“Now, tell me everything you know about this fencing ring.”

  

* * *

 

Peralta ends up getting 30 hours of community service for his trouble, and they take down the ring a week later. Holt tells her that her work is satisfactory and she’s pretty sure he smiled at her a little. She’s on cloud nine.

 

She invites everyone for celebratory drinks but one-by-one they all beg off and she finds herself alone with a glass of chardonnay at a little bar, engrossed in an overly indulgent romance novel.

 

All in all, it’s a pretty good week.

 

“Is this seat taken?” a male voice says and she looks up to see Jake Peralta, now with less handcuffs, holding a beer and leaning against her table.

 

“Stalking is illegal, you know,” she says, but she neatly clips a bookmark in place and puts her book away.

 

He drops down in the seat across from her without waiting for an answer. “I thought you wanted to know why I dropped out of the Academy.”

 

“You were two weeks from graduating,” she tells him. “You were the best shot in your class.”

 

“Somebody’s been doing her research,” he smirks. “Are you this interested in every handsome criminal you arrest?”

 

“Are you going to buy me a drink?” She’s going to have a good week if she has to make it so herself.

 

“That’s not our deal,” but he’s already getting up. “You’re a Manhattan kind of girl, I can tell.”

 

“My mom got sick,” he says as she’s fishing the maraschino cherry out of her drink. It’s her favourite, he’s right. “She lives in Connecticut, we don’t have that much family. I went to go stay with her, make sure she’s alright.”

 

“Is she okay?”

 

He smiles. “She’s fine now. In remission. But I didn’t graduate.”

 

“So why didn’t you reapply next year?”

 

He shrugs. “It just seemed like too much trouble. I did more pushups than I ever did my entire life. Anyway,” he starts to smirk. “I met this girl, Bernice, she was a grad student at Columbia, and all I had was an associate’s degree in criminal justice, so...”

 

“You went back to school to impress her.”

 

“Why does any guy do anything?” She opens her mouth, he talks over her. “We’re not together anymore, in case you’re wondering. But it turned out I’m a decent photographer and a better filmmaker. So I kept at it.”

 

“Oh.” she says.

 

“Not just a simple thief, right?”

 

“Next time you try robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, you should remember that you’re not Robin Hood,” she says archly, and ruined it by smiling.

 

* * *

 

“This was fun,” he says at the end of the night, and she thinks he’ll ask for her number. She’s made up her mind to give it to him, no matter what kind of crap she gets in the squadroom later.

 

But he just swoops in and kisses her cheek. “Have a good night, Amy Santiago,” he calls, walking off. “I’ll see you around.”

 

And that’s the end of it, she thinks, cheeks red. Probably for the best--she doesn’t need smartass photographers slash thieves slash almost-cops in her life anyway.

 

* * *

 

“Santiago,” Holt intones. “I need to see you in my office.”

 

“Of course, sir.” Amy stands up immediately, knocking over a stapler. She bustles into his office, then stops short.

 

“Amy, we have to stop meeting like this.” Jake Peralta: leather jacket, plaid shirt, sitting in the chair in Holt’s office.

 

"Oh, no." Amy says.

 

“Mr. Peralta’s upcoming project is to film a documentary on the New York Police Department,” says Holt.

 

Jake winks at her.

 

“Said I’d see you around.”

 

“Normally, I would not allow this sort of thing to be done, but Mr. Peralta has nearly completed all NYPD Academy graduation requirements, and he promises that his film will raise the standing of the Department in the eyes of New York citizens.”

 

Amy gapes.

 

“I chose you because you are an exemplary officer, Detective Santiago, but of course, if you would not like Mr. Peralta to shadow you--”

 

“No! I mean, yes. He can shadow me.”

 

“Sweet,” says Jake. “Can I ride shotgun this time? The back seat is roomy but the decor isn’t doing much for me.”

 

“I trust you’ll allow Mr. Peralta to observe every aspect of your work,” says Holt. Jake waggles his eyebrows at her. She sighs.

 

“Alright, Peralta, let’s go,” she says, and she drags him out of Holt’s office by the arm.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just loved the Jake-as-a-criminal AU so much. (Hopefully it's not too AU)
> 
> mousebitten dot tumblr dot com


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